Pockets. Hear what I’m saying, ladies?
Tiny details. I’ve mentioned them before. It’s time to mention them again. Don’t worry, I’m not going to talk about hairless vaginas today. Oops, I did. But come on, really?!
Women have a lot of shit to put up with. Men don’t often notice, which isn’t their fault exactly, after all they only really see their own kind in the world: on TV, in books, at the movies, in the boardroom. They don’t get a lot of opportunity to put themselves in the high heeled shoes of the majority of the planet.
Today I’m feeling annoyed about a tiny detail which I’d all but forgotten about in my recent years of being a new mother working from home and not needing to go out when it wasn’t convenient.
Pockets. Why don’t women’s clothes come with pockets?? OK, I know why, or I can make a good guess. Because the lords of marketing have decreed that our clothing should at all times be form fitting. Heaven forbid you include a pocket which, gasp, if it’s used to actually put something in, would affect the shapeliness of the vision.
For fuck’s sake.
Fashion is an ongoing issue for women and girls. Girls’ clothes are frequently bias-cut – fitted rather than comfortable. Boys’ clothes aren’t cut to give them wide shoulders and small waists. But girls’ clothes are cut to give them slim waists and to show off their thighs. Why the fuck?
Also, little girls are expected to wear frills and short-shorts, and then we wonder why they don’t go climbing trees and playing soccer. Have you ever tried to climb a tree in short-shorts? Talk about a wedgie. Teenage fashions for girls are as useless as foot binding used to be. Those ridiculous, miniscule bikinis, teetering heels, short-shorts and tight shirts those girls wear are like the corsets of yesteryear. No one wearing them is comfortable. Our girls just sit around looking decorative while the men chase footballs. Why? Because it’s physically painful to do anything else!
As adults, women must face fashions such as high heeled shoes, which are not only beastly uncomfortable, but physically damaging. Why? So men can look at our tight butts. If you want to look taller, by all means wear high heels. But make them available to men as well. After all, the fashion started with men.
There are also the skirts and tights combos, which I have hated ever since high school. Why don’t all schools offer trousers and shorts for the girls’ uniforms? Particularly primary schools. Why should girls have no choice but to wear a skirt or dress? Some schools are bringing these in, but they should be standard in all schools. It’s a no-brainer.
OK, I’ve gotten off topic. I was talking about pockets.
Men complain, ‘why do women have such big purses/bags? We manage to go through life without so much luggage.’ Yes, you sure do, oh great and wise man. Want to know why? Because you’ve got goddamn pockets!
Women need pockets more than men, you know. Why, I hear you ask? Because, tampons.
When I’m having a period, sometimes it’s hard to know if I’m going to need one of the little buggers. Ladies, I know you know what I’m talking about. And I don’t know about you, but trotting off to the toilet with my purse each time is something of a drag. Especially if the toilet is not particularly clean or prepossessing.
Why don’t pockets come standard? And don’t get me started on the fake pockets that appear in women’s trousers and even shirts. I’m generally an easy going person (this post may be evidence to the contrary, but don’t burst my bubble), but when I see a fake pocket I feel my red-haired Irish temper igniting in a very uncivilized way.
I have resorted to carrying tampons in my socks in the past. Yes, it’s as uncomfortable as it sounds. But at least that way I always had one to hand. BECAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE ANY GODDAMN POCKETS. Fucking corporate wear.
No, this was not a rant. This was a reasonable outburst based on a fucking ridiculous inconvenience which women put up with when they really needn’t. Like so much in life. Why are we always so damn nice? So accepting? Sometimes it sucks being the peace makers.
And the big irony? Despite being the champions at keeping the peace, we are totally underrepresented in the professions whose job it is to keep the peace. Go figure.